For the past four years, I’ve been in a serious and beautiful relationship with the love of my life. He’s everything I always prayed for, we make each other happy, we’ve grown and matured together, and I will never stop thanking God for sending Daniel into my life.
We have many plans for our future and know with certainty that if it’s God’s will, we will be together for many years to come.
But very frequently, we get asked why we’re not married yet. And I’m happy to know that my friends and family care about my happiness, but the question has become more constant as time goes by. And honestly, in some cases, a little uncomfortable.
And it’s not uncomfortable because I don’t want to get married, or because I don’t love Daniel, or because I don’t want him in my future. In the contrary, it’s uncomfortable because marriage is something very sacred to me. Something that I can’t talk about lightly. Something that I can’t bring up so casually in a 15-minute conversation.
So I’ve decided to take some time and write this post with some of the main reasons why I’m not married yet:
- In order to talk about marriage, I wanted to be in a stable dating relationship first. Of the four years that we’ve dated, the first three were a long distance relationship. When I first met Daniel, he would travel very often for work, and he also lived in California for quite some time while I was working and studying in Texas. During those three years, our main focus was to get to know each other better, work hard to make a long distance relationship work, mature, learn, and be patient to wait for the moment when we could finally live in the same city.
- One of my goals in life has always been to learn to provide for myself and live on my own before getting married. Without leaving aside God’s love and blessings in my life, I think I have finally accomplished this goal. At 26 years of age, I have been able to finance my studies on my own, found a stable job with a promising career, have been living by myself for several years now, and I have always paid for all my expenses without anyone’s help. There’s many other things I’ve accomplished with regards to providing for myself, but there’s no need to mention them here. And I want to emphasize that this goal was not set with the purpose of swelling with pride, but with the intention of becoming a valuable and dynamic woman. So that in the future I can contribute different abilities and aptitudes to forge a successful marriage.
- To me, planning for marriage requires financial stability. I respect those who fall in love and decide to get married regardless of their financial situation. But in my case, Daniel and I decided we would get married until we felt financially prepared for this life-changing event. Getting married is definitely something we want and constantly talk about. In fact, we have been planning and budgeting for marriage for some time now.
- It’s important to understand God’s purpose and plans for our lives. Plans. We all make them. Some with detail, some not so much. Some in a hurry, others with plenty of time. Some with all the intentions, and others almost unconsciously. But when it comes to planning for something so significant such as matrimony, it’s our goal to form a marriage with God’s love as our foundation and the family principals He has established. For this reason, Daniel and I have decided to trust in God and prepare ourselves spiritually to understand when the right time has come.
- I’m not the type of girlfriend that pressures her boyfriend into marriage. Like the Mexican singer Pedro Fernandez says, I like to be pursued the old-fashioned way. I love romance and chivalry. I would not want to be the one proposing marriage in a relationship. I also wouldn’t want Daniel or myself to feel pressured into marriage. I believe everything happens for a reason and when the time’s right. As long as we’re trusting God, loving and respecting one another, Daniel will know when the perfect time has come to ask me to marry him. Meanwhile, I’m enjoying and making the best out of our more than perfect present relationship!
And there you have them, the main reasons why I’m not married yet. There’s a few others, but this blog post would expand a bit much. I leave you with one of my favorite biblical verses: Romans 8:28.